How can you Look After Your Mental Health During Divorce?

Posted on: 7 mins read
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Lorraine Harvey

Partner, Family Law

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There’s no avoiding the fact that getting a divorce can be extremely stressful and emotionally draining. Whilst new No Fault Divorce legislation has brought a much-needed advancement to the process, it hasn’t taken away the emotional turmoil that can come with it.

As Divorce Lawyers, we see first-hand the effects divorce proceedings can have on our clients. Of course, there are some couples who come to us with an acceptance that their marriage has reached “the end of the road”. But for others, the process is much more difficult, and the emotional strain can have a significant impact on their mental health.   

In this article, we’ve summarised some of the ways you can look after your mental health during divorce as well as how our unique service, Separating Together, could help you. Read on to find out more or get in touch with our expert Divorce Solicitors for advice on your situation.

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How Can I Manage the Psychological Impact of Divorce?

At the best of times, most of us need an occasional reminder to look after our mental health – this becomes especially important when going through a significant life change like divorce. Try and remember to:

Take time to reflect

Divorce can be overwhelming and it’s easy to go into “auto-pilot” and put an emphasis on just getting things done and ticked off without taking in the reality. But it’s important that you try and stay mindful to prevent your emotions from building up and resulting in you feeling worse further down the line.

Set boundaries with your ex-partner

Whether your relationship ended peacefully or not, you may still prefer to not hear from your ex-partner unless it’s necessary. Discuss what boundaries you feel are needed while you’re focusing on re-shaping your life.

Establish whether you would rather keep communication and interactions as minimal as possible, such as only when you’re discussing the children or arranging visits, or whether you’re happy to be in touch as-and-when.

Reach out to friends and family

You might be feeling tempted to shut yourself off from relatives and friends but it’s important that you try and stay social. Talk to someone you trust about what you’re going through, hearing another perspective can do a lot to help you ‘get out of your own head’.

Identify what your triggers are

By finding out what makes you feel stressed, low or anxious, you can start to gain more control over your reactions. This is by no means a quick fix, but it can help you to understand the emotions you’re going through rather than simply feeling overwhelmed.

Find a new routine

Separating from your partner can be life-changing and it can often feel like you’ve lost your identity. When you’re ready, it’s important that you try to build a new routine that works for you. This will allow you to create a sense of who you are as an individual. Take time to consider what routine works best for you and any children that you may have and start taking back some control over your life.

Stay active

It’s not difficult to fall into bad habits when you’re struggling with your mental health. Try to get outside regularly and exercise, this could be walking the dog or going for a run. Maybe there’s a hobby or sport you stopped years ago that you could pick back up again.

Focus on you

It’s completely normal to feel grief when you’re going through a divorce, it’s also easy to fall into the trap of not looking after yourself. Make sure that you are getting enough sleep and that your lifestyle remains as healthy as it can be.

It may also be a good time to focus on what you want out of life. Consider any hobbies that you’ve always wanted to do or anything you want to achieve. Try to see that your divorce is allowing you to start a new beginning and take it as an opportunity to grow.

Seek medical support

If you’re concerned about your mental health, we’d encourage seeking medical support. Your GP may be able to help you access treatment and support such as counselling that can help you plan a way forward.

If you ended the relationship on good terms and you feel that it would be beneficial, group counselling may be something to consider. It can often help separated couples come to terms with what’s happened, why you’ve decided to divorce, and discuss in a safe space how you can both move forward.


How Can Simpson Millar's Family Law Team Help?

We understand that divorce will affect everyone differently, and each person will have their own way of dealing with the emotion that comes with it. We can tailor our service to fit your situation and our level of involvement can range from managing the whole process to simply providing assistance.

When you first speak to us, we’ll let you know what your options are for moving forward and the steps that will be involved all the way up to the Final Order.

Having an understanding of the process from beginning to end can be particularly helpful if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of going through divorce proceedings. We’ll break it down into stages and communicate with you at each step, so you’re fully updated throughout.

We offer a number of different options and routes for getting a divorce, depending on your circumstances. If you’re committed to a conflict-free divorce, our Separating Together service could be right for you.


Why Choose Us?

Whether you’re looking for some initial legal advice regarding your divorce or you would like us to help with the entire process, our Divorce Solicitors are here to help.

We understand that divorce is an incredibly sensitive issue, and we’ll deal with your case with compassion. Our goal is to secure the best possible outcome, not only for you, but also your children.

Our expert solicitors have an excellent reputation in Family Law, and we are proud to say that we’re Law Society Accredited. All of our solicitors are members of Resolution, which is a national organisation that’s committed to non-confrontational divorce.

We can handle your case on a fixed fee or hourly rate, depending on what meets your needs. We’ll explain our costs and all payment details upfront, so you know exactly what to expect.


Separating Together – Same Solicitor Divorce for Amicable Separation

What is a ‘Separating Together’ Divorce?

Our Separating Together service allows you and your ex-partner to see the same solicitor throughout the divorce proceedings, when arranging childcare and financial settlements.

Divorce doesn’t have to be stressful or expensive and it can be a smooth process if you have the right team working with you.

Who is Right for ‘Separating Together’?

If you and your ex-partner have ended the relationship amicably and you just need to sort out the formalities, our Separating Together service may be the way forward for you.

How Does it Work?

If you and your spouse are splitting amicably, our Separating Together service could help to take some of the stress out of your divorce as well as saving you money.

Simpson Millar are one of the only law firms in England and Wales to offer this service that allows both parties to use the same Solicitor throughout divorce proceedings.

By using one Solicitor, you can ensure the process is transparent and avoid the conflict and emotional distress that can often be involved in reaching a fair outcome for everyone.

What’s Involved?

If you’re considering using our Separating Together service, get in touch with our team to arrange a consultation with one of our Divorce Solicitors. They will discuss your current situation and gain an understanding of whether using the same solicitor is the right thing for you.

Before we get started, we’ll make sure that you and your ex-partner are both committed to a conflict free process and that you’re both happy to proceed with this service, without any pressure from each other.

If you meet the criteria, we’ll talk you through the entire process and then agree a timeline for the divorce that fits in with your life. So that you know exactly what to expect, we’ll give you a roadmap to follow at your pace.

Here’s an overview of the roadmap:

  • Initial assessment
  • You will both sign a declaration, agreeing to a conflict-free divorce
  • A timeline will be set for each step
  • We’ll help you to analyse your financial information
  • Review the solicitor’s settlement options
  • Reach an agreement
  • Your settlement will be drawn up into a contract
  • We’ll send the paperwork to be approved by the Court
  • Your agreement is now legally binding and approved


Get in touch with our expert solicitors, today.

If you’re interested in using our Separating Together service, get in touch with our approachable Family Law and Divorce team for an initial assessment. One of our Divorce Lawyers will talk to you about your current situation and discuss your options going forward.

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References (2023). Separating Together | Same Solicitor Divorce | Simpson Millar Solicitors. [online] Available at: /family-law-solicitors/separating-together-same-solicitor-divorce/

Citizens Advice. (n.d.). Deciding what to do when you separate. [online] Available at:

GOV.UK. (2022). ‘Blame game’ ends as no-fault divorce comes into force. [online] Available at:

Lorraine Harvey

Partner, Family Law

Areas of Expertise:
Family Law

Lorraine is a Partner at Simpson Millar, specialising in Family Law for over 20 years.

She handles middle to high net value cases, including pension claims and complex trust, and also advises on pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreements.

Lorraine has unrivalled knowledge of public sector pensions, in particular police pensions, having advised police officers on pension claims for two decades.

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