How to Stay Emotionally Healthy through Divorce

Author:
Jane Auty
Partner, Family Law and Divorce Solicitor
Date:
06/07/2020

Even just the word ‘divorce’ can ignite feelings of anger, upset, grief and fear. There’s a lot to consider in divorce, such as childcare, finances and the divorce process itself. But it’s important to take care of your mental wellbeing throughout the process.

You can rely on our expert Divorce Solicitors to deal with all the legal aspects of your divorce. But when it comes to your own wellbeing, you need to make sure you’re taking care of yourself through this stressful time.

Here are 7 tips to staying emotionally healthy throughout your divorce.

  1. Understand Your Divorce

    Thinking about the reasons why you’re getting a divorce might be the hardest part of the process. But it’s important to know why you’re splitting up, not only to quote one of the grounds for divorce in your application, but also so you can process the divorce emotionally.

    It’s important not to play the blame game here. If one of you had an affair, or you’ve simply grown apart, it’s likely because you have changed from the people you were when you first met.

    Seek to understand before you seek to be understood. Try and put things into perspective so you can see why you and your partner made the decisions you did to get to the point of divorce.

  1. Manage Your Emotions

    It’s very important to separate your emotions from the practical decisions you’ll need to make in divorce.

    If you’re holding a lot of anger or guilt it might have an effect on the way you handle things. For example, if your partner had an affair you might want to keep the family home as you feel they ‘owe’ you in some way. But if circumstances mean that it would make most sense for them to remain in the property, then it’s vital you don’t let your emotions cloud your view.

    By taking responsibility you’ll be able to process these emotions so that you can take on the decision making process more logically. This means you’ll be able to reach decisions quickly and with less animosity.

  1. Put Your Children First

    Divorce can get messy if there’s more than just the two of you involved. It’s important that no matter how the relationship broke down, you put your children’s best interests first.

    The idea of being less present in your children’s lives might worry you, but it’s important to be fair with your ex when dividing childcare. Having a healthy relationship with both parents is almost always the best option for children.

    Our Divorce Solicitors can work with you to put childcare arrangements in place if you and your ex can’t come to an agreement.

  1. Be Willing to Compromise

    You may wonder why your partner cannot see things from your point of view, but the likelihood is they’re thinking the exact same thing about you. Compromising on things that you want, and might have had in your marriage, isn’t easy. But it’ll move the divorce process along much quicker.

    Remember that there’s two people involved in your divorce and that means you’ll have to divide assets fairly. If you cannot come to an agreement with your ex because neither of you are willing to compromise, then the Court will decide for you so you might end up with less than you wanted in the first place.

    Try and count your wins, not your losses.

  1. Get Support from Friends and Family

    While our Divorce Solicitors can offer you as much legal advice as you need, it’s important that you get personal advice too. When one relationship breaks down, try and lean into the other healthy relationships you have in your life.

    Family and friends can provide you with stability and reassurance in this stressful time. Identify your support network and focus on strengthening those relationships rather than trying to salvage one that’s been and gone.

  1. Plan for Your Future

    One of the common emotions that comes with divorce is a feeling of grief or loss. While your relationship may have ended, try and see your divorce as a new beginning. When the divorce is finalised you might have a lot more time for yourself, which is a great opportunity for self-growth.

    Set goals for the future – what do you want to achieve? Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Take all the energy you were putting into your marriage and put it back into yourself.

  1. Speak to a Divorce Solicitor

    Above are just a few tips on how to stay emotionally healthy through divorce, but one thing you might still be unsure about is the legal side of things. We can help you.

    Our Divorce Solicitors are experts in the divorce process and can handle your whole divorce case or just advise you where you need it.

    We will always be transparent about our fees and we offer a Fixed Fee Divorce service which may suit your situation. Our national team of Divorce Solicitors and Lawyers have dealt with thousands of divorce cases, and we can help you to diffuse tension and resolve conflict if you and your ex cannot agree on the terms of your divorce.

For initial legal advice call our Family Law and Divorce Solicitors

We're happy to help

Monday to Friday 8:30am-7:00pm

08002 605 010

08002 605 010

We're happy to call you

Simply click below to arrange a call

Request a Call Back

Request a Callback

This data will only be used by Simpson Millar in accordance with our Privacy Policy for processing your query and for no other purpose

Simpson Millar Solicitors are a national law firm with over 500 staff and offices in Bristol, Cardiff, Lancaster, Leeds, Liverpool, London, Manchester and Southport.