How To Have a ‘Good’ Divorce

David Lister
Author:
David Lister
Partner, Head of Family Law
Date:
29/11/2021

As more and more people are choosing a better way, bitter divorce battles will become the a thing of the past and for many, a sensible separation that works for everyone involved, including children, is the new normal.

Separating Together- divorcing with one lawyer. 

This is the main reason we introduced Separating Together. This is a way for couples who want a cost effective, more efficient way to divorce using just one lawyer. This saves them having to instruct two lawyers and racking up unnecessary costs as well as making the transition smoother with less stress. Follow this link to learn more about Separating Together with one divorce solicitor.

I’ve chosen my 5 Top Tips on how separate well.

1. There are no winners or losers

The reality of divorce is that any resources that once supported one family will rarely stretch to meet the needs of two households. Expect to have to cut your cloth. Abandon the pursuit of a win. Find a compromise. You both need to rebuild. Reaching an agreement early means you’ll have more to rebuild with.

2. Look at the Big Picture

It’s easy to lose sight of the end goal. Try not to let that happen. Bad behaviour will very rarely impact on the financial settlement, so don’t dwell on it. Definitely don’t sweat the small stuff. If you have children, ask yourself, “if I do this, will it reduce the chances of me and my ex being able to attend our child’s wedding or graduation together in years to come?”

3. Be Practical

You might want to hold onto the family home but is that realistic? Can you get a big enough mortgage to buy your husband or wife out? If you’re the higher earner in the marriage, can your former partner survive without your ongoing support and time to adjust to their new circumstances? Getting good financial advice is key.

When it comes to where your children will live, remember that they are entitled to have a full and meaningful relationship with both of you. If the adult relationships are strained, ask a family member to facilitate handovers, at least until the temperature cools down.

4. Keeping Communicating

This won’t be easy for everyone, but if you can, speak to your husband or wife, but also listen to their point of view. Separating couples who continue to communicate constructively almost always manage to the resolve their issues more quickly. If you’re struggling to speak to each other face to face, using a shared parenting App can be a good start and a way to set boundaries until conversations as separated parents can become more natural.

5. Use A Specialist Divorce Lawyer

Using a divorce solicitor to formalise any agreed arrangements will provide you with security and peace of mind about what your future will look like. Choose a lawyer you feel comfortable being open and honest with and let them be honest with you, even if they tell you things you don’t want to hear. Ask them how much your divorce will cost. If they can’t tell you right at the start how much your divorce is likely to be, don’t instruct them and look elsewhere. Certainty on price will help you budget.

For initial legal advice call our Family Law and Divorce Solicitors

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